thoughts to words

  Could you sit in the deep with me? Wipe my tears away? Can you build with me? When you look at me, I shudder, Yet I know you look at them the same way, I know how you touch me is how you touch them, The whispers, are all the same, My heart constantly betrays me, My body reacts to your touch, Not agreeing to my spirit, Your smile captures my heart, Used to the familiar I crawl back Used to the safety, I stay, You shame me yet I sit Anxiety becomes the norm around you Fear feeds me, satisfied by mere looks Not worried about the cracks you place on me, Lies break my soul Bernice Alela

  Sadness engulfs me, the smell of rain   the shiver that comes with the cold rush feeds into my soul I shudder a little, tears freely fall I’m reminded of every word, every touch, every whisper I feel naked, used and abused Reality always did move as it pleased longing for a touch, a genuine touch A freeze in time for it to last forever Dreams rarely come true, heartfelt moments disappear as vapor   Like a lone tree, with shriveled up leaves, I continue to wallow in my sadness   moving how the wind pleases, bracing the merciless rain drops   Nothing to cover my shame, no shadow of color   I bleed, I bleed with sorrow How then did life get to this, how then can I rise from the ashes?   Bernice Alela