thoughts to words

The shiver hits, tears drop, reality dawns, heart beats, frantic, the rocking back and forth begins, No one to hold, I surf the waves alone, I slowly taste the water, I gulp, I take it in, the fight in me,slowly fades a bitter sweet release, my flesh gives in, my eyes flutter as they shut, I say a prayer, and wish forever. As i breathe my last, I feel his hands on me, holding so tenderly, grabbing so fiercly, I open my eyes, but am done, i say in my head, I see him shake his head as if he heard, I feel the splash, He cares, He has me in his arms,close to his chest, He holds on to me as we surf the wave to shore, He whispers,'you are loved'. Bernice.

Remember a time when christmas meant shopping for new clothes, preparing meals like chapati, and going back to the country to visit the grandparents? I always looked forward to such, the road trips were my favourite, Although being the last born of three, i'd have to settle for the middle seat and suffer through break-necking angles trying to view the scenery. The snacks made the journey more bearable. Imagine sitting through an eight hour drive, with only one stop over. Yes as i look back now my parents were determined, the noise we made and of course being couped up like that the fights were plenty. I remember each of the trips, the memories is what keeps me looking forward each year even though each of us has gone seperate ways. The carols we sang on the road trips remain in my heart, maybe because i remember my dad  humming while we sang over the radio, each of us off key or off tune. The joy my parents and siblings placed each year made us bond and i love each of them to bi...

Dawn brings in its good cheer, fragrant with such hope and faith expectant with dreams fulfilled, and desires to be met, Yet we the weak in spirit slumber, afraid of the dark, we stayed up afraid of the light, we slept in Banking on imaginary monsters, Of century old myths, we awaited doom. We cursed the good, embracing what evils we knew In the purest of forms , we succumbed The virtual darkness engulfs, so thick a trial so vein, of wicks the pleas made silently turn to screams hidden emotions begin to show, tears, blood, sweat, name it Shackles of the past tighten the little we had left, we took by the hand, fighting to the death, fighting for sanity rights we had long forgotten, rights we had long surrendered, we  claimed. The hold you had, gone ensnares and traps placed, poof chains and groaning, relief locks and cables, opened windows and doors, unhinged weary hearts, lifted of the past and present, accepted, of the future, a mystery expected a si...

    A  new month brings such realisation to ones life and the year at hand. Something i've learnt over time is the need to be true to your self if anything. The lyrics of  Alanis Morissette, song  'you learn',  gave me such.     Although i have heard the song multiple times before, i really listened to it the other day and saw the need for each and every one of those thing and scenarios she spoke of.    ' Getting your heart trampled on by anyone', Love is a brave act, a war, a bed of roses and so much more than i can imagine. But to love one needs to have courage to survive the thorns and live through the bad days, to give your heart and soul and be open to the one you love. And if your heart gets trampled on, it simply means you've lived and you've learnt.    The best of them are the hot flames, I know that a little too well. The unexpected ones you met on your broken road to greener pastures. Those that crash and burn...

A plastered smile, to show the hundreth mile.. ive taken so far to change change in terms of  a new beginning, or somehow a reformed meaning In my yester years, you wiped my tears, the refuge i ran to, cause thats all i had, sarcasm fills the words, as you are the cause of my bloody eyes, and the river that  flows from my eyes, the sense in your repelling... my appealing... got us lost. In this case it hurt more on my side, maybe the one hurting, should recount it all, cause am feeling like a toy ball, maybe the word feeling is wrong all together, cause lately its been my worst enemy. am fighting with myself and that means war, plain and simple, bombs and ammunition, Remind me where i stand, hit me over the head with it, just in case i think you asked.. because you wanted the bond. my tell tale expression, hidden the dissappointment, i weep i havent got a prayer i havent got a care, somehow like a trolley, its me pushing, and like a seed, its e...

In the words of Pharrel Williams, 'money can't buy you happiness but happy can get you money', As i was going through some updates i stumbled on this and it got me thinking..in more ways than one that it does make sense. We are so busy trying to attain success, love, happiness, picture perfect dreams and movie lives that we forget to actually enjoy our time and create life rather than a living. You see, when we just relax and embrace the feeling of what we are doing and be happy we can achieve so much more than we had bargained for. For the longest time i did not think this statement could be so meaningful, but it covers my six months of 2014. I had just finished a short course i was doing in college last year and thought to myself, why not take a year off school and see what happens, i guess you'd say i was crazy back then :) But i was seeing life pass me by and there all these things am yet to do and experience so i took the challenge. I added a twist an prom...

Wisp of country and simplicity, Toungues crashing, crackling of the wood so exciting,so inviting, warmth fills the air, the darkness quickly fading, you held me, close sweetnothings whispered subtle promses cast, giggles and hands locked, you eyes so intruiging, capturing my whole being, wave after wave of thirst quenched, needs i didnt know i had, playing with fire... as the wood ave in to the fire, the wind swept through, wooing us on, we backtracked to our roots, words lost in translation, sounds became one with the wild, a song of tranquile, Ah, the release calling me as i came,closer straight towards...reality the blurr coming into focus the ghosts of the past become one with the wind, all alone and fear finds the perfect ground Bernice