Skip to main content

Rules of relating

A plastered smile,
to show the hundreth mile..
ive taken so far to change
change in terms of  a new beginning,
or somehow a reformed meaning
In my yester years,
you wiped my tears,
the refuge i ran to,
cause thats all i had,
sarcasm fills the words,
as you are the cause of my bloody eyes,
and the river that  flows from my eyes,
the sense in your repelling...
my appealing...
got us lost.
In this case it hurt more on my side,
maybe the one hurting,
should recount it all,
cause am feeling like a toy ball,
maybe the word feeling is wrong all together,
cause lately its been my worst enemy.
am fighting with myself and that means war,
plain and simple,
bombs and ammunition,
Remind me where i stand,
hit me over the head with it,
just in case i think you asked..
because you wanted the bond.
my tell tale expression, hidden
the dissappointment, i weep
i havent got a prayer
i havent got a care,
somehow like a trolley, its me pushing,
and like a seed, its easy germinating
just hard to grow,
must i cry to be heard?
grow a beard to be noticed, by you?
save me from my misery,
i don't want this mystery....

bernice



























Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Alone

  Sadness engulfs me, the smell of rain   the shiver that comes with the cold rush feeds into my soul I shudder a little, tears freely fall I’m reminded of every word, every touch, every whisper I feel naked, used and abused Reality always did move as it pleased longing for a touch, a genuine touch A freeze in time for it to last forever Dreams rarely come true, heartfelt moments disappear as vapor   Like a lone tree, with shriveled up leaves, I continue to wallow in my sadness   moving how the wind pleases, bracing the merciless rain drops   Nothing to cover my shame, no shadow of color   I bleed, I bleed with sorrow How then did life get to this, how then can I rise from the ashes?   Bernice Alela

Her Burden

Its started again, she whispers. The constant reminder that all was not well, he is at it again. You see she knew of the past lovers knew how his demeanor changed when he'd met an attractive loose girl..she used the term loose lightly..as there was never a time she denied him..unless she was unclean. He had his way any day..yet he still strayed, despite her beauty, her intellect, her poise..he still strayed. He was the problem., she said in a sigh. After much scrutiny on her side,he was the issue. She always supported,cared offered all a girl should. What was the one thing she kept close..caution maybe She was not one to throw it in the wind but when they met..she did, even as she fell in-love with him..she did! Even for the days he forgot he had her, she stayed put.. In all honesty he wanted an adventure she thought he was all the adventure she needed. He wanted a woman..wasn't she one in her own right? He wanted the fast and easy but kept her at an arms length..for wh

a necessary hiatus.

It has been a long time, years actually since I penned my thoughts down. I think I needed to grow out in some areas and with growth comes pain. pain creeps up on you, and just stays there. for me it came in all areas, mentally, socially emotionally, physically. It was a period in my life where I got hurt emotionally by people I had come to trust, and I had just got some life changing news. To be real honest I was alone. So I hurt deeply, growth and maturity comes with rediscovery of self. It took me a long time to just let it happen in order for me to heal. It took a toll on me and I was on the verge of depression, bitterness and i couldn't understand how my life had turned upside now. Time does make it easier and i have given myself a lot of that. The important thing for me was to move along with the change and be able to adjust and now that I know that, I adjust accordingly everyday as change truly is inevitable. So I am now a mom,this is one of the reasons I've been on a